A bad couple of months

Well, today on back has been nothing but a nightmare that I just can't seem to stop.  I don't know what is happening and it is really scaring me.  It's as though life as I once knew it has done a 180*.   My grandmother passed away a few months ago.... I think maybe that has something to do with it.  But lately, it seems everyone is just not polite, considerate of others feelings, could care less what I have to say, because they have to many problems to care about mine. Yet, I will listen to theirs.  What the hell has happened?

I told my councilor about it, said I think I may be the reason, that maybe I'm the one giving the attitude.  Of course, they never really give you answers to your questions, they just listen and maybe give a little advice.  But, what else could it be?  I love all the people involved.  I would do anything to help them in any way... which I have done in the past.  They can't say I have't been there when needed.  I guess now i just feel like I'm being put on the back burner until the next horrific thing happens. 

Dad is going in for surgery sometime soon.  He has a mass on his kidney.  He went to the doc yesterday to find out what they are doing about it.  Of course, I have heard nothing... My mother and I are not on the best of terms, my father and I were trying to tell her about charging her reader from the computer, that she wasn't possibly charging it unless the computer was on.  Well, she knows it all and even when she doesn't, she doesn't care!! It's hers and she will do it her way whether right or wrong!!!!  So, me being as exhausted as I've been lately, left there and came home.... giving each one a kiss before leaving. Dad thanked me for the back massage, he's been having severe pain and tingling going on for months or longer now. I have not done that ever, actually leaving!!!

Anyway, so now I won't know anything.  I left dad a email letting him know that I tried it with my Ipod... and it will not charge w/o the computer on.  She probably had it in sleep mode and didn't even know it!!!  :-/

So, after that incident. Came home, my daughter asked me to pick her and her boyfriend up. I did.  He was not in the best of moods. Of course, neither was I.  But, my daughter asked me to please be polite to him.  So, I was.  They went in the basement to talk.  Next thing I know, I hear shit being flung about!!!  NOT happy!  I asked about it.  My daughter said everything is fine.  Then it happened again!!  I said to them, that was not nothing, what's going on?  Well, here comes my daughter up the stairs, boyfriend in tow, she opened the door and said goodbye to him.... he leaves, but not quietly!  He's outside screaming the F- word!!!  I am soo worried about my daughter, I pray she will end this before she gets hurt or worse!!!!  I told her about this and she agreed.  But, I don't know if she will.  She ended up talking to him after he left.  They talked for a couple hours... AAhhgg!!  

Back to my son, before all this happened, he was giving me shit, I was on the phone with cable trying to get into the new pay bill site.  I couldn't because my user name was changed...my son did it.  So, meanwhile i'm asking him to retrieve the email from the guy on the phone so I can change it back...my son is gaming at the same time.  Well, you can appreciate a gamer and the concentration they are in... so he's being extremely rude the whole time!!!  I was interrupting him!!!! Just get the f-in email!!!!  STRESS I tell ya!!!   So that's what I went through yesterday. Can't wait to see what today brings me. 

I don't know how much more I will be able to tolerate before I loose it!!  I have been trying to behave as much as possible and remember the morals.  But, ya know. I am beginning to feel I'm being walked all over lately!!  Not sure, but just maybe that is what all involve need is a little attitude adjustment.. :)